


Infidelis

by ivParabellum (LedreutObscenum), LedreutObscenum



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jealousy, Mentions of Violence, Multi, Multiple Relationships, NSFW, Pining, Siblings of Sin - Freeform, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:33:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25818886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LedreutObscenum/pseuds/ivParabellum, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LedreutObscenum/pseuds/LedreutObscenum
Summary: The novitiate Beatrice Antares was forced to partake in the Church of Satan in order to please the expectations her father and step-mother had of her, to ''follow in her half-brother's steps'', as she was never one to care about her family's satanic habits. She discovered to have more insterest in the affairs of the church than expected, and seemed to have caught the eyes of a few people in there.TW: Mentions of abusive family, self-harm and violence.
Relationships: Cardinal Copia/Original Female Character(s), Papa Emeritus II/Original Character(s), Papa Emeritus III/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. New Blood

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work (and my first written piece in a long while) related to this fandom and I hope to do it justice. Constructive criticism is always welcome!
> 
> This chapter will have very little chit-chat and will be more centered on the introduction of the character to adapting in a new lifestyle. I'm just testing the waters.

_‘' Conscious of their own responsibility, the Novices are to collaborate actively with their Director in such a way that they faithfully respond to the grace of a divine vocation._   
_—Canon Law 652.3’’_

My family was very closely related to the Church of Satan, for generations having helped and donated, participated and some of them even took considerable roles in the Ministry; although I didn’t care much for any religious occasions, I was still always there, watching from a distance.   
That never sat well with my father, always wanting me to be like my half-brother —always so proud of his achievements as a young priest. So, against my will, I was to be a nun. 

As a novitiate, fresh out of baptism, a long year of learning, spiritual exercises, prayers and communing awaited me. My habit was slightly different as those from the other sisters I saw walking through the tall, thick, Gothic and dark iron gates of the abbey. 

_On the outside, the architecture looked like any other abbey or church I had ever seen, but inside, the imagery was definitely Christian... but way less holy than usual._

I knew, above everything, that my director, for the time being, was going to be the one they called 'Imperator' — Sister Imperator, to be more precise. Comments about how strict and blunt she was were always around at the rituals back home, so I was aware that I needed to watch my steps carefully as to not anger her... or anyone else, really. 

I picked up the pace as I heard the soft sound of a bell chiming in the distance, didn't want to have the upper clergymen and Sister waiting in the first day. First impressions are always important, or so they say. The hallways were many, full of quiet people, then again, it’s not like these people didn’t cherish their own... uniqueness.   
A door met me at the end of the corridor, standing tall and menacing, perhaps made out of ebony, accentuates with a golden grucifix hanging from its top and a golden doorknob. My heart started pounding a little faster. It seemed like an endless walk there, the tinted windows painting the tall white walls of the abbey.

''Glad you could make it. Have a seat.'' Sister's voice seemed to almost echo from her large office as soon as I opened the door the slightest bit. Besides her, other people seemed to have taken their seats by the side of a large coffee table. I sat at the last chair, comfortable leather, and faced the others in silence. ''We're glad to hear you decided to join us, your brother always excelled and we expect nothing less from you, Miss Antares.'' She said, a small smile pressed on her lips. I hated hearing my own name saying out loud like that.

''I will try my best to deliver what is expected of me.'' It took all the strength I had to utter those words with confidence enough to not show how nervous I was, thank goodness the habit didn’t allow anyone to see how much I was starting to sweat. I was very oblivious when it came to the satanic things my family were always up to, saying I knew the basics was almost an exaggeration. But I tried.   
They all seemed pleased with my fake display of pride and confidence, ''You have yet to be assigned and area to tend to, so for now you shall respond to all clergymen in this room.''  
I gave a quick look at all the others, studying them a little, most of them dressed nicely and accordingly, faces painted. Some looked younger than the others, and some more intimidating than the rest, also not all of them seemed to be paying to much attention — _my eyes wandered to one of the men, jet black hair, using a sleek suit, too busy with his own thoughts while he looked at his nails._

After a few words of what my duties were for the next day and Sister handing me a few papers with schedules and were my quarters would be, I excused myself and started to wander around the abbey a bit, memorizing some common places such as the gardens, the study rooms, library, the different halls. Some sisters greeted me and they were nice enough to show me some places that would be important for my first year.

Getting to my room was quick. The place was moderate in size, enough for a spacious single bed, a small coffee table and chair, a study desk and a few empty spaces - figured those were there if you wanted to add a touch of your own. The walls adorned with dark wood panels up to half its height and a nice vermilion wallpaper, it fit with the dark furniture, everything very rustic and Gothic in its own way. There was also a bathroom, walls and floor covered in marble, speckled in grey and white, matching the porcelain of the sink and bathtub.  
A few of my things were already in place, thankfully.  
I quickly wrapped myself in a small pile of books and loose papers, beginning to set my schedule and my studies. 

''Tomorrow will be a full day'', I thought out loud, there was a nice little feeling of anticipation inside my chest as I stared out the window, hands on a paper file. ''Yeah... It sure will.'' The realization had hit me and I felt a bit anxious, worry consuming me as I stared the sunset. I didn’t want this, but I was always an obedient child and could never speak up to my father, even as an adult.  
 _Perhaps I should shower and rest for today..._  
 _I will be fine. Everything is going to be alright. It’s just a year, way less than college was._


	2. Insomnium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice had a very first full day, dealing with the worse she could right in the morning, but small things managed to bring a smile to her pale face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was already written up a few days ago, that's why it came so quickly.  
> From now on there will be more action and dialogue, hopefully.

Morning came sooner than I had expected. I don’t remember at what time I had even stopped studying to go to bed, but it wasn’t anywhere before 11pm. After stretching out and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I went to wash my body and face in the bathroom, taking my time before my first duty of the day. 

Breakfast was already served in the dining hall of the abbey, some people gathered around in their little groups and others scattered around like I was. The food was plenty, you could choose from as many options as you wanted. I tried to stick with something light, strong black tea and toast was more than enough for me.  
Some time took until the bell chimed on the distance, telling people that the breakfast break was soon to be over. I got up, patted my habit down for any possible folds and cleaned after myself.

I started heading my way to the west wing of the abbey, there were many more halls and rooms to be discovered, it was a very spacious place after all. 

Some sisters were talking about one of the men present in the room yesterday, they called him _Secondo_. The few words I picked up as I walked were _‘bitter’_ , _‘grumpy’_ , _‘resentful’_ and _‘hard to work with’_. I did knew I had to work with one of the Papas, but now I was hoping it wasn’t him out of all the people, I was heading his way after all.  
I hope it isn’t him... I wouldn’t be surprised if it was, to be honest. My mind started racing and so did my heartbeat, the over thinking got the best out of me and I seemed to have lost my way to the office I was supposed to attend to. ‘’Shit...’’ I thought out loud, the place was huge, there was no way I could find my way back, and even if I did, would take me one hell of a long time. 

I started anxiously walking and pacing everywhere, every time I would hear the bell’s toll it would turn into white noise. My mind was foggy with worries and anxieties, running a hundred thoughts of how I had already managed to screw up on the first day. First impressions do matter! Especially if I have to deal with that man out of all of them! Oh woe is me.  
‘’Lost already, _novizia?_ ’’ A voice caught me by surprise from one of the intersections of the hall. ‘’...yes’’ I muttered with palpable shame in my voice. The man approached me, it was the one who couldn’t care about anything else but his nails. 

‘’Allow me to guide you then, hm?’’ He offered me his arm but I denied it, ‘’I suppose you know me, the youngest of the three Emeritus siblings?’’ his voice had a certain level of disdain after I rejected his approach. ‘’ _Terzo_... right?’’ I decided to walk by his side, he nodded. 

’’Mhm,’’ he hummed, ‘’And you’re stuck with _Secondo_ for today. That’s rough...’’ My eyes shot at him with worry, a slight sadistic smirk appeared in his painted face.

’’Is he... that bad?’’ I swallowed dry, my hands clasped together behind my back.  
’’Sometimes. He’s old fashioned.’’ We walked through the different intersections, this part of the abbey seemed more silent that the previous one I had been, maybe because of the library? 

_And there it was. Another huge door, it seemed to grow bigger and bigger with each step. The grip on my hands tightening by the second. I couldn’t afford to keep fucking up._

’’Relax, it can only be so bad.’’ Terzo gave me a small, comforting tap on my shoulder before leaving. ‘’I’m sure you can do it, I heard great things about your brother.’’ and the comforting feeling was gone in a second. He wasn’t even my brother... and I hated being compared to him.  
’’Thank you.’’ My voice was a little frail out of fear, but I managed to gather enough confidence to knock with a presentable face. 

’’Come in.’’ A raspier, deeper voice ordered from inside, and I didn’t dare hesitate.

I took a deep breath, his office was just as spacious as Imperator’s, if not bigger. The dark wooden furniture, big desk, chairs, bookshelf that screamed ‘I am the boss’, it seemed very fitting even though I knew basically nothing about him.  
’’Sister Beatrice Antares, I came to help you with... uh...’’ The man didn’t seem to pay attention to what I was saying, he merely waved me to sit at a desk with a typewriter while he continued to look at a pile of parchments and documents. I simply complied and made myself comfortable in the chair.

’’Begin.’’ His voice sounded almost thunderous, I jumped a little and started eyeing him and the typewriter. _I had never used one of these, I didn’t think he would be this old fashioned! Shit._ ‘’Did I not make myself clear?’’ The steps approaching and echoing in the wooden floor made me almost shiver. ‘’...oh.’’ he stopped.

’’You’re the new one. Hm.’’ I looked at him, staring back at me with a paper on his hand and another pinching the bridge of his nose.  
’’I’m sorry, I’m not familiar with this type of device...’’ I rushed to apologize, he lifted up a hand for me to stop talking.

’’They enjoy making my work harder...’’ He sighed and placed the paper back on his main desk. ‘’I will explain it once, _capisce?_ ’’ I nodded and swallowed dry again. 

His explanation was very descriptive and objective. Surprisingly easy to follow and made me calm down a little. It was a typewriter, not a torture device. I hope it isn’t a torture device. 

’’Now, I need you to follow my pace.’’ Secondo walked back to his large desk and grabbed his papers again, ‘’I will dictate and you will transcribe. Understood?’’ I felt his stern look at my while I prepared the papers and took a deep breath.

’’Begin. _Andiamo._ ’’ 

Soon the room was filled by the different dings and click the typewriter mad and his footsteps. Papa’s voice was loud and clear, but the fact he never made a single pause in between documents was a bit tiring. Still, I managed to some how follow his pace.

_In my eyes he didn’t seen as bad as everyone made him sound, including his younger brother. Perhaps I had gotten on his good side? If so, great! I didn’t feel like testing my luck anyways._

After hours of typing and hearing the repetition of noises — clicks, dings, steps and the ticks and tocks of the clock — I was feeling a strain in my back. There wasn’t enough time from document to document for me to even rub my already tired eyes.  
My pace started slowing down, the typewriter slowly dinging less, even my arms grew tired of the repetitive movements. And I thought this would be different than college, this feels just like writing an essay...  
Papa cleared his throat and it snapped me out of my trance, ‘’Is anything the matter, _uccellini?_ ’’ the tone of his voice was strict and full of mockery.  
’’N-no! It’s just... a bit tiring.’’ I said, my head lowering. 

The man sighed and approached me once more, ‘’Luck of the newcomer. Always stuck with me,’’ he straightened his suit and vest, eyebrows furrowed with annoyance. ‘’Even though those bastards know they can’t keep up with my pace or work load.’’  
’’...sorry’’ I spoke under my breath, my eyes locked on the typewriter, feet tapping frantically under the desk.

Secondo sighed once more, ‘’Look at me.’’ he gently lifted my chin with one of his gloved hands, his cologne was intoxicating from up close. ‘’They always do this kind of thing. Get used to it.’’ he awkwardly patted my shoulder.

’’I’m just here because my father forced me to...’’ I leaned my back against the chair and clasped my hands over my lap. ‘’... I was never very religious either’’

He looked at me quietly, ‘’I know you probably don’t care about this but... I just felt like... forget it.’’ I furrowed my brows and got up from the chair. 

’’Well... you’re right. I don’t care about your daddy issues. I’m not a babysitter.’’ His hands pressed against my shoulders, making me sit back down. ‘’We still have work left to do.’’  
I sighed and we went back to working as we were.

_Why did I think he would care? Just when I thought I made a good impression... Great job Beatrice, splendid..._

Hours had gone by and the morning had soon turned into afternoon. I gave Papa his pile of newly transcribed documents and he waved me to go. He sure was bitter.I finally got up and patted my habit free of any creases. 

’’I hope to see you again.’’ he scoffed, a small sarcastic smirk on his face. He wasn’t even looking at me.

I honestly couldn’t tell if it was mockery of flattery.

Walking my way back to the dining halls was easier this time, and once again I was joined by a familiar voice in my way there, ‘’So, how did it go?’’ Terzo joined me, following me closely, palpable curiosity coming from him.

’’Oh.... it was simply amazing...’’ My words told one thing and my frustrated face told another,  
’’I can see you had a great time. I told you he was old fashioned.’’ his hearty laugh filled the empty corridors. Soon to be followed by shushes as we passed by the library.

’’Sounds like this isn’t the first time you have fun with this.’’ I crossed my arms and stopped on my tracks.  
’’Oh, it surely isn’t,’’ The youngest brother stopped by my side,’’and it isn’t gonna be the last one.’’ A smile grew on the bastards face.  
He had a peculiar charm to him, but the wish to slap his smile out of him was a little stronger. 

’’Just pray to the Lord Below you won’t be stuck with him for 364 more days...’’ Terzo laughed one last time before giving me a tap on the shoulder an heading his way, ‘’ _Arrivederci, tesoro._ ’’ those last words made my heart skip a beat.

_As much as he was a bother, it was fun in a way to have him around. Charming bastard..._

By the time I got back to the dining hall, it was as full as it was during breakfast time. Once again, I picked something light and sat by myself, watching the people go by and talk, some in groups, some alone. It was comforting knowing I wasn’t the only loner around.

’’Are you always by yourself?’’ a warm voice asked me, ‘’Uh... So far, yeah.’’ I looked back at it with an awkward smile only to be shocked. A very tall man in a dark suit sat by my side. _Wait... he isn’t wearing any shoes?_

’’Quiet type too?’’ he didn’t make eye contact. And I was staring too much at his silver mask, _horns_ huh... bold fashion statement.  
’’Well, a little. I’m not settled in yet.’’ I adjusted my novitiate veil.  
’’Oh,’’ the man faced me a little surprised, ‘’I didn’t notice you were new here, sorry.’’  
_And that’s a tail. I’m not sure why I’m surprised to be honest, I’m in the Church of Satan after all._

‘’Don’t worry, no need to apologize.’’ I smiled and offered him a handshake. ‘’Sister Beatrice Antares’’  
He seemed to hesitate a bit before shaking my hand, ‘’Mountain. Earth Ghoul. Drummer.’’  
’’Ghoul?’’ I perked an eyebrow, ‘’So you guys are actually a thing...’’

’’Non believer?’’ Mountain seemed to also raise an eyebrow,  
’’No... not exactly...’’ I scratched the back of my neck and left my hand there. ‘’I guess just a little faith...less?’’  
’’Oh.’’ The ghoul stood in silence.

_Well, this is awkward. Not the silence, but the fact that I just told a possible demonic being that I don’t believe in his Unholy Lord so much as everyone else did._

I quickly broke the silence, ‘’...Guess this whole sister thing is really changing how I see some things.’’  
’’Isn’t it a bit weird for you to be a nun?’’ The tall ghoul asked, without facing me.  
’’A little, yeah. Long story. Runs in the family or something like that.’’ I shrugged and finished my food before it got any colder.  
’’Huh.’’ He seemed to hold back a little giggle, exhaling a little bit of air through his nose. 

The bell tolled once more, it was getting dark outside and the shine of the sunset no one pierced the stained glass windows. ‘’Be seeing you tomorrow?’’ I asked the ghoul, who seemed a bit unsure.  
’’Uhhhh...’’ He snapped his suspenders, ‘’I guess, yeah.’’  
I once more cleaned after myself and walked towards my room, Mountain followed me a little before we parted ways in one of the intersections, he waved a shy goodbye.

_I guess I made a friend? I sure didn’t expect it to be a Ghoul out of all things... but I’m not complaining._

As I got into my room, I saw a few papers laying on my small study desk. I decided to shower and put some more comfortable clothes before checking them out.  
The warm water of the shower helped me relax, filling the cold marble bathroom with a nice little steam. It sure was one hell of a day, and Secondo sure was something... But it could have been worse.  
Soon those worries and thoughts seemed to dissipate from my head, I turned off the water and wrapped myself in thick towels before heading back to my room. 

After I changed into a more familiar set of clothes — sweatpants and an old long-sleeved shirt — I decided to sit down to check those papers I had seen before. One of them was a letter from my father, probably written by someone else to make it look like he cared, and the other one was yet another task I had to fulfill for Papa Emeritus II. I sighed and left the papers where they were.  
I threw myself on the large comfortable bed and slumber soon came.

_Satan, I was tired... More mentally than physically._

And even if I wanted, even if my body urged to keep sleeping, I couldn’t rest. I got up at who knows what time in the middle of the night.  
My body felt like taking a walk, observing the abbey at night must be a unique sight, and since most people are asleep, I didn’t worry about putting my habit on. 

The soft silver rays of the moon seeped through the huge windows, making every corridor beautifully somber and sinister. I couldn’t help but walk slowly, eyes locked on the dark starry sky, the moon up so high in the sky, bright and full. Eventually I had to stop by one of the windows, basking in the moonlight and stargazing completely enamoured with the view, it felt like all the worries in the world had gone away.  
Yeah... I’m glad I decided to take a little stroll.

The Cardinal had been working until late once again. His office lit only by an antique desk lamp. A hand pinching the bridge of his nose and the other holding a fountain pen, his leg crossed under the office desk, one of the frantically moving in a way to relief some stress. His eyes locked on the clock, marking 2am,‘’I have to take a break...’’ Copia growled, inhaling deeply and pushing himself away from the desk. He got up and stretched his back and arms, cracking his knuckles softly. A gloved hand went through his tussled hair from hunching over his desk. 

He didn’t even bother adjusting his cassock, bothered even less with putting his biretta on, leaving it behind on his desk. ‘’...I wonder if there’s any food left in the kitchen.’’ The Cardinal spoke to himself, taking careful steps as to not wake anyone up.  
He kept on walking through the hallways, taking quick looks at the paintings and furniture around, until he noticed in his peripheral vision what looked like a person by one of the windows.

Copia cleared his throat as he approached slowly, ‘’Wonderful night, no?’’  
I jumped and looked at him frightened for a second, until I managed to make out his face a midst the faint light of the moon. ‘’O-oh.’’ I regained my breath in relief, ‘’Yes, it sure is beautiful tonight.’’

He approached in careful steps, ‘’You shouldn’t be breaking curfew, Sister... eh... uh...’’ he moved his hands on the air, trying to remember my name.  
’’Antares. And I know, I just can’t seem to sleep well.’’ My gaze returned to the starry night sky.

’’Sister Antares, yes, pardon.’’The cardinal patted his cassock clean of the folds from sitting down for so long. ‘’The moon light does you well.’’ he smiled awkwardly.  
I looked at him, an eyebrow arched up, ‘’Thanks. I’m not very used to compliments...’’

’’But you should be.’’

’’Seems like someone is lacking some sleep’’, I chuckled.

‘’I could be up all night watching you.’’ His gaze now on the moon.

’’Cardinal, you’re very nice, but that won’t do.’’ I turned to him, looking him deeply into his mismatched eyes, watching embarrassment slowly consume him.

’’Sorry... I just thought you needed some company. Maybe I got the wrong idea.’’ Copia blushed, a gloved hand scratching the back of his hair, his ear blushing a little.  
’’Perhaps you did, but your compliments were very sweet.’’ I brushed a strand of hair out of my face, his mismatched eyes following my short, dark strands of hair.

_He was so awkward and I couldn’t help but find it adorable._

’’May I...Walk you back to your room at least?’’ The man offered me his hand, avoiding eye contact with me as much as he could.

I took his hand and agreed to walk back with him. The walk back was silent, filled with awkwardness, embarrassment and tension. He smelled faintly of books and cologne, and his hair seemed a bit messy. As we arrived, he let go of my and and fiddled with his fingers for a bit.

’’Well Cardinal...’’ I struggled to try and remember his name.

’’Copia’’ he finished my sentence with a smile.

’’Well, Cardinal Copia, I hope you can catch some sleep.’’ 

’’ _Buona notte_ , Sister Antares...’’ Despite his awkwardness, he pressed a soft kiss in one of my hands and walked back to his own quarters. The kiss made my stomach flutter and my heart skip a beat; he was so close to me even though he hadn’t seen each other since the day I first joined. 

I walked back to my bed, checks flushed and head confused. Love at first sight isn’t a thing! But satanic creatures seem to be... The same line of thought kept crossing my mind, it was so stupid and contradictory to the things I believed in so firmly.  
In an attempt to go back to sleep, I shook my head, patted my cheeks a few times, ‘’Enough Bea, stop thinking about non sense.’’ and made myself comfortable until I could finally fall asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters will perhaps get longer and longer after this.
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it ♥


	3. Lost in Lust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beatrice finally gets to indulge herself in some sinful pleasure, as she could not resist the temptations of Secondo.
> 
> It gets a lil suggestive, but nothing explicit... yet. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like this one too much so I just tried to get over with it as soon as I could. Sorry for delivering something not as good as it could be.  
> Next chapter will have some more explicit stuff, so I will add the explicit tag soon.

The next few days were surprisingly calm and monotonous — prayers, study, sermons. Rinse and repeat. — but the letter I had received from Secondo was worrying, he really didn’t seem to have enjoyed working with me. I got up and did my usual morning routine, stare at the ceiling, stretch, wash myself, put my habit on and walk to get some breakfast.

To my surprise, Mountain seemed to be waiting for me in the dining hall, a plate of toasts with jam and a cup of black tea by the seat next to his. I couldn’t help but smile a little, ‘’Hey big guy. Missed me?’’ he looked up at me and scooted a bit more to the side, enough to give me comfortable space to eat.

’’I guess... It’s nice having someone to talk to that isn’t a ghoul.’’ he fidgeted with his fingers.

’’Is something up?’’ I looked at him while taking a sip of the tea, he seemed a little less laid back than usual.

’’I was thinking... You haven’t been to too many parts of the abbey, have you?’’ The ghoul spoke to me without making eye contact, I nodded my head, agreeing with what he had said, ‘’I can show you some cool places. The other ghouls too.’’ 

I swallowed the food, ‘’That would be... pretty cool actually.’’, he seemed to smile with his eyes. Despite his incredible height, he was very shy and gentle. 

’’Some of them can be a little... exquisite.’’ Mountain said scratching his neck, nervous about a specific friend of his.

’’Isn’t everyone here a lil’ peculiar in their own way?’’ I nudged him with my elbow, offering him a friendly smile.  
’’Yeah... they really are.’’ he held back a small chuckle.

_Our break was soon over and it felt nice talking to Mountain again, he seemed to be a little more comfortable with me._

And I was once again headed to Secondo’s office, praying — for the first time outside a sister’s demand — to the Dark Lord below that it wasn’t another one of Terzo’s attempt and embarrassing me, but I also didn’t want to work with him either. He was imposing and very strict, it was terrifying, I get why people talk about him the way they do, the man sure is scary.  
I met that huge door again, this time I was less anxious about knocking on it as I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. Please tell me it was a joke, I would rather get laughed at by Terzo than ordered around by his middle brother.  
I took a deep breath and looked for any imperfections on my veil or habit before knocking. A hand held my shoulder and I jumped, my blood pressure dropped almost instantly.  
’’You’re never late, are you, _novizia?_ ’’ Secondo looked at me in the eyes, towering me.

’’Ah! I... I didn’t knew you weren’t in yet...’’ I put a hand over my chest and tried to control my breathing,  
’’ _Un coniglietto impaurito_... how adorable.’’ His mockery was always on point, and his body was awfully close to mine. That fucking cologne...

’’I’m... a bit rusty on my Italian, Papa...’’ My eyes locked with his as he approached ever so slightly, his face getting closer and closer. His perfume was so addictive, it smelled very expensive; my heart was racing, my thoughts all over the place.

’’...A little scaredy bunny.’’ Secondo said close to my ear, a shiver went down my spine, turning the door knob and pushing past me to get into his office. 

I could feel my entire face burning, and I knew I didn’t need a mirror to know I was blushing. It completely slipped my mind that I was blocking the door.

’’Are you just gonna stand there or will we get to work?’’ His raspy voice made my stomach flutter and sink at the same time — the same way I was now compelled to want to help him with his duties, but part of me still wanted it to be just a misunderstanding. ‘’ _Andiamo, cara_. Get the door, I don’t have all day.’’

I obeyed his words, got in, closed the door and awaited for the next order — _Why was I feeling so eager for another order from him? What got into me? Gosh_. I sat on one of the velvety chairs, it looked like it belonged in the Victorian era, it sure was posh. I clasped my hands and fiddled my fingers anxiously, my eyes scanning the whole place. His silence was so cold and cruel, slowly pacing around his office, seemed to be studying me with his eyes. 

‘’What are you so nervous for?’’ he asked, his attention turned to the small bar he had by the side of his desk.

’’I’m not sure either...’’ My mouth had dried out, my eyes now only focusing on the fancy rug under the velvety chairs.

’’Seems like you haven’t been indulging at all.’’ He walked towards me with two cups full of scotch. ‘’I can see you have a lot of pent up stress.’’

I grabbed one of the cups he offered me and took a small sip, my lips tensing with the strength of the booze, ‘’I have been studying a lot, I don’t have time for myself.’’

’’ _Peccato..._ ’’ Papa said, swirling the liquid in his cup before downing it all in one go, ‘’It’s essential for life, _cara mia_.’’

’’I... I read so, sir.’’ I tried my hardest to avoid his gaze, at this point I wasn’t sure if it was the booze of the tension that made my body feel warm and my head spin. 

’’Then...’’ Secondo sat across me, my reflection on his aviators. ‘’I don’t understand why you haven’t been bathing in sin.’’ he crossed his arms, eyes still seemed to be studying every single one of my movements. ‘’Look around, darling, this place is covered in sin. You just have to open your eyes.’’

He wasn’t wrong, the place was indeed covered in sin, the Church heavily encouraged it. Sex, alcohol and other drugs, among other things, were very common in the abbey grounds. It was taken very naturally, as long as you weren’t addicted to it. Addiction was shunned upon. 

’’I told you already, I haven’t got the time for it.’’ Partially, it was true, but it was also true I didn’t have anyone to ‘indulge in sin’ with. And I wasn’t gonna do it with Mountain, never.

’’You got time now.’’ Those words made me blush even harder, ‘’I didn’t call you here. You came here for your own reasons.’’ he poured himself another cup.

_That bastard. I knew it. He set me up again._

‘’W-well, then I should get going, no? I don’t want to be taking your time, y-you must be very busy.’’ I swallowed dry as I got up from the chair,

’’It doesn’t look like you want to go.’’ his gloved finger circled the rim of his scotch cup.

_Fuck. I really didn’t want to go. I wanted to see how this would end, but curiosity killed the cat._

I was left speechless, he gestured for me to sit back at the chair and I did. I couldn’t bring myself to look at his face, my eyes fixed on my cup of scotch. The atmosphere was so heavy, the tension was weighing on my shoulders. A part of me honestly wanted to scream. 

’’Don’t waste the drink, it’s expensive.’’

’’I’m not into hard liquor like this...’’ Secondo sighed, downed his scotch again, rolled his mismatched eyes and got up, placing both our cups back into his little bar. 

’’I’m not sure if you’re difficult or stubborn. Or both.’’ he leaned himself on the back of my chair, towering over me once again, making me look up at him.  
‘’Your family didn’t tell you anything about us?’’ one of his gloved hands caressed a loose strand of my hair.

’’They did... I just never cared much.’’I said nervously and Papa clicked his tongue.

’’What a waste then,’’ his hand held my chin, the leather was very soft and refined. ‘’...seems like you didn’t get anything from your baptism either.’’ I tried my hardest to look away, but his gaze was almost hypnotic.  
’’Will I have to give you a personal sermon?” those words made my entire body shiver and I tried covering my face with my veil, my body was getting warmer by the second, and the fact the he was so close to me didn’t help at all.

Secondo let out a delightful laugh, ‘’For a Sister of Sin, you’re awfully pure.’’ he said with a malicious smile on his face, ‘’... and the pure ones are the most enjoyable.’’ his voice raspy and low. ‘’I can tempt you forever, _coniglietto._ ’’

’’D-don’t you have any work to do?’’ My face was burning with embarrassment, ‘’Y’know.. important things?’’

’’I do, _si,_ ’’ he softly tapped his hands on my shoulder, ‘’but you caught my attention, cara mia.’’ 

I swallowed dry, I could feel the warmth of his hands even through his leather gloves, and I wished so hard he would keep touching me, keep being so close to me...  
_Fuck. Fuck!! FUCK!!! WHAT AM I THINKING?!_

’’What if someone comes in? Wouldn’t it be weird?’’ he laughed again, roaring up the walls of his office.

’’You truly are new here, _novizia,_ ’’ Secondo stopped leaning on my chair and approached me slowly, snaking one of his arms around my waist and pulling me up and close to his body. ‘’ No one goes through that door if I don’t say yes. And sisters _come_ here a lot, if you get what I mean, tesoro.’’ 

My heart was pounding, his voice rumbled in his chest and made my mind go places. Secondo slipped my veil away from my head, as to force me to stop hiding, and caressed a few loose strands or hair. We didn’t make eye contact, I was trying my hardest to look through him but my body was craving the attention.  
‘’You just have to say it...’’ he whispered close to my ears, my legs turning into jelly by the second.  
’’S-Secondo...’’ his mismatched eyes finally looked at me. 

’’I... I want... I want you to-’’ a knock on the door. Secondo groaned and pushed me away, going his way to open the door.

’’What is it?’’ He growled, ‘’Oh... Cardinal.’’ speaking in a somber way and giving him and annoyed sigh.

’’If I recall correctly, we have some matters to attend to, no?’’ The cardinal asked, taking a peek through the door creek and looking at me. ‘’Did I... eh... Interrupt something, your Dark Excellency?’’

’’N-no. You didn’t.’’ I snatched my veil from Secondo’s hands and quickly walked myself out, out of breath and face completely red. 

‘’We were about to get started.’’ Secondo gave a nasty look at Copia and invited him inside his office.

After walking for a little while, making my way to one of the sections in the gardens — It was full of beautiful flower bushes around a fountain with a sculpture of the Fallen Angel, a few gazebos were around too. I sat on one of the wooden benches around and took a deep breath of fresh air, then rested my face on my hands and elbows on my knees, hunching, and let out a loud sigh. What the fuck just happened?

A familiar touch landed on my shoulder. ‘’Are you... okay?’’ It was Mountain, he sounded more curious than worried.

’’I could be better.’’ I uncovered my face to look at him. He looked concerned. 

’’What happened? You smell...’’ He adjusted his collar with a finger before clearing his throat, ‘’Sinful.’’

Another loud sigh escaped my mouth, ‘’...Secondo was trying to get me to... Y’know...’’ I answered with all the shame in the world.

’’Did he succeed?’’ The ghoul patted my back softly.

’’Almost.’’ 

’’Wow. You’re a tough one.’’ He giggled shyly. 

’’Uh... lets say I am, yeah.’’ I couldn’t help but laugh a little, it was a very weird situation.

The tall ghoul offered me his hand and said, ‘’Come with me, I want you to meet my other mates.’’ I held his hand softly as he led me to the little wooden gazebo, a few other ghouls were there, scattered around on the seats.’’

’’Yo, Mount!’’ A bigger ghoul, sporting a bracelet and a few rings turned to greet him, ‘’Who’s that?’’

’’Hopefully food.’’ A scrawnier ghoul said, his tail flicking up and down.

’’This is Beatrice, she’s new around here.’’ He gently pushed me forward, I awkwardly smiled and waved my hand.

’’Hey everyone...’’ I finally put my veil back once I noticed my hair was loose.

Mountain pointed at each one, saying their names, ‘’This is Aether.’’ the big one raised a peace sign. 

’’Dewdrop.’’ The scrawny ghoul showed my his tongue in a suggestive way.  
’’Rain.’’ The quiet ghoul simply nodded.

’’Cirrus and Cumulus.’’ The ghoulletes smiled and came to greet me, each holding one of my hands.

’’...And swiss?’’ Mountain asked.

’’Probably shimmying around.’’ Aether joked. ‘’You know him.’’

’’Holy shit, would you look at that...’’ Dewdrop looked at me, ‘’Indulging in sin already, sister?’’ and made a few obscene gestures with his hands, his tail still flicking around.  
My face flushed red almost instantly.

’’Don’t scare her away, you creep.’’ Cumulus seemed to try and reprehend him, but he honestly didn’t give a shit. Cirrus covered my ears as if I was a child. 

’’I didn’t think you guys could... feel these things...’’ I sat with Mountain and adjusted my habit.

’’We can smell feelings.’’ Aether explained, ‘’Some of us can smell specific feelings easier than others, some of us can be empathetic with those feelings, but that usually happens when a ghoul has a deep bond with a human.’’ 

_I looked at him impressed. The more you know, right?_

We all stood there talking for a little while, enjoying each others company. Dew would sometimes give me nasty stares or do obscene things to throw me off, Cirrus and Cumulus would always try to reprehend him and we would just laugh his shit off. As it got closer to noon, the bell chimed in the distance and we all got up. 

’’Time’s up lads, back to rehearsing.’’ Aether stretched and patted Rain on the shoulder. 

’’Aye aye.’’ Cirrus and Cumulus said in unison and followed him and one by one the ghouls were leaving. 

’’Be seeing you, big boy?’’ I got up and turned my face to look at Mountain.

’’Of course, Bea.’’ Him calling me by my nickname threw me off guard a little and I smiled, ‘’I’ll show up later.’’

’’You’ll... show up later?’’ I raised and eyebrow.

’’You’re gonna get it when you see it.’’ He smiled with his eyes and picked up the pace to follow the other ghouls.

_His tail was wagging, almost like a dog’s. That was beyond adorable._

I went to finish the rest of my actual duties for the day, that included some work in the library. It was a very big library, with more than one level to it, always full of people but no noise — just the sound of pages flipping and some very quiet whispering from study groups.  
The cardinal was there, by one of the bookshelves, with a cryptic, thick book on his gloves hands, seemed to be briefing through it until he saw me pass by and stopped me, ‘’Sister Beatrice!’’ Copia said excitedly, still in a very quiet way as to not bother anyone. 

’’Oh,’’ I turned to him and smiled, ‘’Hey.’’ 

His face blushed a little. ‘’H-hello. How do you do?’’

’’Better now, I guess.’’ I adjusted my veil, even if it didn’t need it.

’’Then I can say the same.’’ Copia let out a nervous laughter and put the book back on its place. ‘’How... was your morning with Secondo?’’ he asked, pretending to be looking for another book, just so he wouldn’t look at my face.

And I did the same, ‘’I was... f-fooled.’’ I cleared my throat,’’Terzo tricked me again...’’ 

’’O-oh.’’ He adjusted his collar, ‘’He was grumpier than usual after you left.’’

’’I... uh... said something he didn’t like.’’

‘’Mhm... I’m sure that was why.’’ The cardinal smiled.

The silence made the mutual awkwardness even worse. We stood there staring at a huge bookshelf, occasionally pretending to brief through a book or just look at its cover.  
_Did he really need to ask about that? Was it really necessary? Jeez..._

Copia seemed to be staring at me every time I picked a different book, but every time I would look back at him he would instantly turn his attention to something else.  
This situation was almost as bad as being alone with Secondo, it was very uncomfortable and the tension seemed to grow by the minute, but I didn’t have the guts to break the ice, I’m not sure if I even wanted to, I just wanted out of this situation.  
_Fuck, I need some time by myself to think._

‘’Well... uh... I have some errands to run and...’’ I cleared my throat, thinking of a lie to escape this awkward mess, ‘’You know. Sister stuff. Heh.’’ his grip in one of the books tightened, did he see through my lie? 

’’Ah, s-so do I.’’ Copia put the book he was gripping back to its place and also cleared his throat, ‘’See you later.’’ he tried to fist bump me, failing awkwardly, and then walked away rather quickly, coming back once he realized he had forgotten his book, ‘’Oops, heheh...’’ and then finally leaving with an embarrassed smile. I tried my best to hold my laughter.

_I couldn’t help but find all his awkwardness and embarrassment adorable. It was hard to believe this was their current frontman, but he had his charm._

After the cardinal left, I was standing there, in silence for a few minutes. Replaying the situation in my mind with a small smile on my face, it was nice to have people cheer you up even if they didn’t realize it or didn’t do it on purpose. I walked my way to the study classrooms, thinking of all the things that had recently happened. What an emotional roller coaster, and the day was nowhere near finished. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon distracted, looking out the window in the classroom, enjoying the colors of the warm afternoon sky, but still managed to get my things done without any extra effort. 

_I kind of wanted to see the Cardinal again. And I was still confused about what happened earlier. A part of me was still dying of curiosity to see what could have happened with Secondo, craving that tense moment, the heat, our bodies close, his cologne... But another part felt uneasy with the thought of him... pleasing me. It felt wrong but... I sort of wanted it to happen..._

I made my way back to my room and noticed my door was ajar — Maybe I forgot to lock it, wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened, honestly. The second I stepped in, and was about to remove my veil, I caught something in the corner of my eye and screamed, jumping behind the chair close to my desk.

’’Hey’’ Mountain greeted me, sitting on my bed, my laptop on his hands.

’’Holy fuck, Mountain!’’ I sat on my chair and took a deep breath. ‘’unholy fuck, rather...’’

’’I told you we would see each other later.’’ he held a little chuckle. 

’’Wait outside at least! Don’t be standing there like a weird cryptid.’’ finally, I regained my composure. ‘’I swear I almost died.’’

The ghoul gave in and let out a short laugh, ‘’Sorry. Your face was priceless.’’

’’Yeah, I bet it was...’’ I rolled my eyes jokingly and giggled, ‘’What are you doing here?’’ and pointed my eyes at him using my laptop, ‘’And how did you get my password?’’

’’Uh... I dunno, just had a feeling, I guess?’’ Mountain shrugged and started patting his clothes, ‘’And I came to bring you something.’’ he handed me a little sodalite crystal necklace, it was very beautifully crafted. 

’’Fuck, Mount...’’ I grabbed the necklace and looked at the crystal, immediately putting it on, ‘’This is very nice of you, big guy... And it’s such a pretty necklace too...’’ my eyes were almost watery, looking at him like a puppy. 

’’I could feel you tense you have been these days and...’’ He seemed to blush a little, ‘’...I r-really enjoy crystals and stones in general...’’ and proceeded to adjust his suspenders like usual. ‘’They help us when our energies aren’t too good, y’know?’’

’’I really appreciate it...’’ My first instinct was to hug him, so I did. He placed his head on top of mine and seemed to cling onto me. ‘’Uh... M-Mountain...?’’ He was starting to squeeze me.

’’S-Sorry.’’ He let go of me and scratched the back of his head, his pointy ears blushing. ‘’I... I should get going. Are you coming to the sermon tonight?’’

’’Uh... Yeah, sure.’’ I admired the necklace, ‘’Visit me any time you want, Mount.’’ 

The tall earth ghoul smiled with his eyes, I could see his tail wagging as he left, he looked like he was beaming with happiness. It was nice to see him that cheerful, he was always so quiet and a little bit of a loner.  
I decided to try and rest a little before tonight’s mass, laying on my bed and holding the necklace dearly in my hands until I fell asleep.

Somehow I managed to wake up in time to take a shower and pamper myself before mass, I was never one to dress in a flamboyant way or to have a very good fashion sense, but I also didn’t want to show up looking like a hobo. I took a nice warm shower, wrapped myself up in some towels and stared at the mirror, remembering the fact I wasn’t very good at makeup. 

After a little while, I managed to at least give myself a smokey eyeliner and some red lipstick, contrasting with my dark hair, dark eyes and pale skin. I took a last quick look before going to dress myself, it was almost as if I was looking at a picture of my mom...

I put the same habit as usual, but there was a twist, since I was feeling a little bit rebellious, I decided to put on a garter belt and a nicer pair of stockings. Also heels, they weren’t very tall, but were very classy. There sure was a confidence boost, in a way I was feeling powerful. And a little sexy, not gonna lie

The hallways were filled with siblings of sin, all chattering and walking towards the chapel. A few ghouls could be seen too, either in their own little groups or accompanying humans. I walked my way through the masses and followed the sound of the nine tolls of the chapel’s bell. The chapel was huge, had an old Gothic church look to it, it was menacing and beautiful at the same time.

A little finger prodded my back, and I turned around with and eyebrow raised, ‘’We’re waiting for you, loser.’’ Dewdrop scoffed and crossed his arms. ‘’Come on, Mountain wants you to sit up front with us.’’ I followed him inside the chapel, multiple dark candles lighting the place, it was eerie. There was a faint mist, smelling strong of incense. A ghoul sat behind the altar, playing a massive pipe organ.

Mountain scooted to the side and patted the spot for me to sit, between him and Rain, and I did, adjusting my habit as soon as I sat down. 

’’He’s been very cheerful lately,’’ Swiss said from the other side of the bench, ‘’Ain’t that cute?’’ 

’’Lil’ friends with benefits?’’ Dewdrop showed me his tongue in an obscene way. Mountain just sighed, annoyed. 

’’Just friends.’’’ I retaliated, the small fire ghoul growled. 

’’Cut it off you two, the mass is about to start.’’ Aether reprimanded the both of us. 

We all enjoyed the beautiful pipe organ until Terzo appeared up front to deliver the mass, dressed in his beautiful robes, swinging his thurible around, weaving a mist of incense. He would occasionally lock eyes with me and give me a small wink.  
And not long after that, the Cardinal took his place on the altar and gave us a beautiful sermon, talking about our individuality, our uniqueness as beings, and our right to be liberated to do anything that pleases us. 

I couldn’t help but feel eyes staring at my back the whole mass, as if someone was watching my every move,  
‘’Mount...’’ I whispered and softly touched held his hand.  
’’Can you check if someone is staring at us? I have been feeling watched the whole time...’’ I gripped my necklace with the other hand and kept watching Copia and tried to pay attention to his beautiful sermon.

’’It’s... Secondo...’’ He whispered back to me, 

’’Ah... Shit...’’ The anxiety made me start biting my lips,

’’Something wrong?’’ Mountain was looking at me a little confused,

’’I just... left some matters unfinished...’’ I sighed, looking the earth ghoul in the eyes,

He took a deep sniff close to my neck, ‘’Oh... Those matters...’’ and his ears blushed a little, ‘’Got it.’’

_Seemed like there was no escape from him, I really got his attention and not in the nice way. The same feeling came back, half of me wanted him so badly, eager to see how it would end, and the other half was afraid, it felt wrong only to think about it. Maybe he’s right, I’m too pure for this shit. How depressing, Bea._

My head couldn’t ignore the fact that Secondo was watching me, from wherever he was. I couldn’t pay attention to the rest of the mass, and I missed most of Copia’s sermon. The increasing anxiety made me start tapping my feet on the ground, and Mountain place his hand over mine, giving me a comforting look.  
I heard the church erupt, everyone saying ‘Nema’ in unison before getting up. The ghouls started talking to each other and I started heading out. 

’’Wanna grab a bite?’’ Cirrus held my hand,

’’I would love to...’’ I gave her a weak smile, ‘’...But I have some stuff to do.’’ letting go of her hand softly.

’’Next time you’re coming! No buts!’’ Aether pointed at me and I just laughed it off.

I picked up the pace and started walking through the people, doing my best to get to my room unnoticed. But Satan knew all I wanted was to bump into Secondo, have him pull me close to him again... And Satan delivered.  
He was standing in one of the hallways, leaning against the window sill, looking at the dark sky. His face wasn’t painted and neither was he wearing his robes. He sported a sleek three-piece suit, all black with a few accents of dark burgundy.  
My head started racing with thoughts again, and this wasn’t the time for hesitations, pleasure isn’t wrong. _Just get this over with._  
’’It’s a nice night, isn’t it?’’ I scooted close to him, looking up at the moon.

’’Hm. It kinda of is.’’ He looked at me, his hands patting on his pockets.

’’Sorry for... You know...’’ I tried to apologize, but couldn’t find the good words for it.

’’You can always make up for it.’’ Secondo got a cigarette, lit it and placed it between his lips, 

’’H-haha... I could, yes...’’ I swallowed dry, my face getting blushed by the second.

’’That’s a nice necklace.’’ He breathed out the smoke, his eyes fixated on mine.

’’It is... It was a gift.’’ I held it out so he could see the sodalite crystal better. 

Secondo grunted and pinched the bridge of his nose, ‘’Enough small talk. We know why you came after me, _tesoro_ ’’ 

My stomach sunk and I let go of my necklace, feeling his eyes on me was so anxiety inducing. ‘’W-well...’’ I muttered with a weak voice, ‘’You know I jus-’’ only to be interrupted by one of his hands grabbing me by the waist and pulling me closer, his shadow towering me, the smell of his cologne mixed with his expensive cigarette was so alluring and intoxicating. 

’’I said enoug small talk, _coniglietto..._ ’’ His free hand held the back of my head, pulling my face close to his in a kiss that tasted like a delightful mix of cigarettes and alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading ♥  
> Next time I promise to deliver something better. orz

**Author's Note:**

> *A novitiate's habit is always slightly different from other nuns/sisters in order to pinpoint them as new members.
> 
> In this work the Papas did not die, they just retired from being frontmen and took different roles in the church.  
> The ghouls are directly demonic creatures.


End file.
